I fell a long way before I realised I could do something about it. When I began I found it a frustrating and dirty business.
It’s not an easy thing coming to grips with where you are at and who you are.
Especially this sort.
I’d become aware of the shit I was in.
Loretta telling me she wasn’t happy 13 years ago was one hell of a wake-up call.
I started to question who I was and what I wanted in life.
I was shocked at what I discovered
I’d taken my head out of the sand it was firmly stuck in.
What I began to do,
bust through beliefs I had about myself.
That I was shy
That I was easily embarrassed
That I couldn’t do anything else but be a nurseryman.
That I couldn’t lead.
That I could only do one thing at a time
That I knew enough to get by
That I was happy
That I was ok with being what other people wanted
That I was doing all I could in our marriage and that evening was ok.
And there was more I was just scratching the surface in the early day.
When the realisation hit,
that these beliefs kept me small.
I was quite unsure of what to do.
Totally at a loss
In that confusing and frustrating place of wanting something different and not knowing what to do about it.
Like being given a board game without the instructions and told to play.
I struggled with this for a long time.
Wrong turns and bad decisions.
The more I tried to sort it myself I seemed to have further to climb.
Once you learn a thing you can’t unlearn it.
Awareness is a bitch like that at times.
These days I help other guys move through times of doubt and pain. Assisting them to find their place in the world.
I have developed programs to as a foundation or roadmap to a new state of being.
Discover how by clicking below.